A letter to the Queen

Dear Queen Elisabeth,

I still haven´t found out yet where exactly you are living, but I´ve heard a lot about Buckingham Palace. Besides there was some rumour that Prince William´s girlfriend Kate Huddleton insisted on celebrating her own little christmas party.

I don´t want to interfere in your royal business, but I want to go to London this christmas.
Maybe you can invite me instead.

Just be so kind and give me one of your rooms - I only need little space, I´ll even take a sleeping bag with me - and I´ll be the most invisible guest you ever had. I can even imagine to play with your corgis, though I actually hate dogs. But for you I´d make an exception: I`d only have to overcome my allergic reactions and everything would be fine.

By the way: I was looking for a host via hospitality club, but all members seem to be very busy around Christmas. That´s why a friend of mine encouraged me to send you a letter instead.

Could you tell me if I should take my mosquito repellent with me? I even have some malaria protection in case the mosquitos are agressive this winter.

Please let me know if I might even get an own key,

yours sincerely
Sven E.